Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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