after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize