If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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