Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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