so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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