You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
are you so shy because you have an std?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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