I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
