It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
