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I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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