I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize