my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
