how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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