Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize