i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
He is an equal opportunity slut.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
