I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
