dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
