I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
Randomize
