Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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