I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
