i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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