My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
