OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
