break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
