Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
