I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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