College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
