yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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