You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Randomize
