Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Randomize
