Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
