yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
