There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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