Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
