but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
