My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize