He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
