I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
