just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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