he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
