I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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