She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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