HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
