I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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