Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
