Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I want a musical about memes.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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