why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
