My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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