like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
