How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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