it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
