Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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