Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
