i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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