I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
