How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
