What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
