I cannot find my penis.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
