so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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