Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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