She announced her abortion via fbk
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
