At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
